So which side are you on? Team Jacob? Team Edward? At the time of the film’s release, that was the biggest question asked by Twilight (2008) fans across the globe. The film had become so popular with teens, it immediately launched actors Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner into stardom. The film also stars Nikki Reed, Ashley Greene, Kellan Lutz, Jackson Rathbone, Peter Facinelli, Anna Kendricks and Billy Burke. YouTuber Marcus from The Cosmonaut Variety Hour and his friend Veronica watch and review the Twilight saga for the first time. Marcus is already somewhat familiar with Twilight and had actually read the first book in the series, but is unfamiliar with the films compared to Veronica, who has seen all the movies sarcastically claiming it was the “best movie ever.” These two embark on their journey into the Twilight universe.
This is the most emotions she’s had the whole movie.
In one of the beginning scenes where the vampire characters are being introduced into the storyline, The Cosmonaut Variety Hour describes them as looking like they belonged to a cult and when Veronica explains that they are adopted siblings that are dating each other, he responds with confusion and is a bit disturbed by that idea. He comments on the vampire character's physical appearance as looking “aggressively inhuman.” When it came to some of the scenes with Edward, Veronica notes his appearance as unrefined and unkept and is confused as to how this was supposed to contribute to his character as the intriguing mysterious guy of few words:
He looks like when high schoolers have a 24-year-old boyfriend who works at the local AutoZone…spends all his time working and he used to be a football player, that’s what he looks like.
In his review, the YouTuber makes note of some inconsistencies throughout the film and storyline. It was revealed in the beginning that vampires cannot be in the sunlight as it transforms their skin and exposes their secret to humans. In one scene Bella and Edward are in Florida, the sunshine state, vacationing:
Edward went to Florida? That’s not against the vampire Geneva conventions or whatever…as someone who lives in Florida there is no feasible way to avoid the sunlight…this is officially the dumbest thing this movie has tried to pull.
During Edward and Bella’s wedding, more questions are raised as to how it was possible in the Twilight universe for them to get married during the day when again, the vampires could possibility be exposed, “how come they are getting married in the daylight in the sun in front of all these humans and there are vampires at the wedding?”
Is the Twilight universe a complete fantasy or is it a twist on reality and non-fiction? This was a constant mystery to the YouTuber who is trying to understand what kind of reality these characters lived in. He is confused and baffled by the idea of why anyone would want to be a high school student for the rest of their lives questioning the practicality of the films premise:
If I was a vampire and I was kind of close to 18, I would not hide in high school, I’d be going to the club, I’d be living it up…I would not be in high school for hundreds of years.
He also questions whether or not some of the scenes in the movie would actually happen in real life with real life people, “have you ever been in a group and you’re all couples and you just sit on a blanket on the beach and just make out with each other…no because no one has!”
One main element that Marcus and Veronica point out that span the entire five movie saga is the awkward, cringey and almost troubling relationship between Edward, Bella and Jacob. They feel like the actors themselves have no chemistry with each other which then translates to no chemistry between the characters who were supposed to be love interests:
She is so optimistic, if I didn’t know any better and I didn’t know she was just a bad actress, I would think her character is just not into him.
Comments on Kristen Stewart’s subpar acting is a recurring theme throughout all five films, “this is the most emotions she’s had the whole movie.” In much of the intimate scenes between Edward and Bella, Veronica criticizes the lack of acting skills from Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson and how not believable they make the characters seem:
These two people who have had sex before, cannot pretend to have sex with each other.
Another aspect of the movie that seems to disturb the YouTubers is the relationship between Jacob and Bella and how it is completely unhealthy and almost dangerous. Jacob was in love with Bella and he refused to believe that she didn’t share his feelings and continued to impose on her life:
Why do you love her, do we have a reason as to why he’s into Bella besides a possessive thing…sorry to every guy I friend zoned I guess if this is how you’re feeling.
The YouTuber notes that Jacob’s aggressive nature with Bella would be a red flag to anyone and it made him dislike the character even more than Bella’s indecisive nature, “what’s with these people, alright he’s lost me completely, he is the worst character in Twilight, he’s worse than her.”
In the last movie Breaking Dawn Part II (2012), a baby born of Bella and Edward is revealed and the YouTubers look on in horror at the CGI face that was created for baby Renesmee and compares it to the previously popular saga of Harry Potter. Why does she have a CGI face? Was it necessary?
I hate this Voldemort face, it looks like Voldemort on the back of Quirerll’s head, why did they do that, what’s the reason?
Despite knowing that the Twilight universe is geared toward a teen audience, the YouTubers watched the films making sarcastic comments about the characters, the actors, the lack of chemistry between the characters and actors and the blatant inconsistencies with the actual Twilight universe. They even started an eye roll count as to how many times they felt the storyline was being overly dramatic or absurd.
YouTuber Marcus from The Cosmonaut Variety Hour reviews movies and more on his channel every week.