Nasser is a "fan of things, in general", so he says, but the one thing he's never really gotten into is Star Wars. Of course he knows one thing:
I already know like the big twist ... the Darth Vader thing ... with like Luke ... I know that.
He's going to be watching them in the "machete order", that is, he'll first start with Episode IV: A New Hope then Episode V: Empire Strikes Back but then he'll go straight to the prequel trilogy (Episodes I-III) and then finish with Episode VI: Return Of The Jedi. Some think this order, especially for those like Nasser who already know the "I am your father" twist, offers different surprises as well as a more wholesome arc to the "chosen one" prophecy of Anakin. Nasser will be the judge of that.
First off, the iconic crawl of Episode IV: A New Hope begins and it looks like we're hitting some early critique:
Does that count as three minutes of straight exposition, because ... WOW!
He knows the droids are C-3PO and R2-D2 but isn't sure which one is which as the scene opens up with them in search of Princess Leia, played by the late Carrie Fisher. Immediately, he's impressed with the visual effects of the George Lucas film that debuted in 1977. After the droids escape to Tatooine, he asks a funny question but seemingly likely from someone who knows nothing of Star Wars:
Is this on Earth?
Nasser wonders ten minutes in where's Luke ,"is he in this one?" Surely enough, Luke makes his reveal with Uncle Owen and Jawas. After Luke complains to his newly purchased droids "Biggs is right, I'm never getting out of here", in the boyish portrayal Mark Hamill brought to the character, Nasser immediately gets it, "so Luke is a relatable teenager".
When he gets to the infamous "these aren't the droids you're looking for", you can see the look of eureka on Nasser's face and he let's us know "I know that line."
Deeper into the movie, he begins to try and predict the plot points using Harry Potter references of course:
It's probably going to be Obi-Wan versus Darth Vader ... then in the last (movie) ... it's going to be Darth Vader versus Luke ... that's like Harry (Potter) and Voldemort and Dumbledoor is Obi-Wan
It seems the swashbuckling Harrison Ford brought to Han Solo is a bit too much for Nasser and it's not working for him:
I really don't like Han Solo!
In perhaps the biggest twist setup for machete viewers, before boarding his X-Wing to blow up the Death Star, Luke gets a peck on the cheek from Leia. Nasser thinks he knows exactly where this is going:
Oh ... it's going to be a slow burn romance, that's what it's going to be
Wrapping up A New Hope, Nasser seems to be on board as he says "I liked it, I liked it a lot". Still though, he's not a fan of Han Solo and doesn't believe Han is redeemed for knocking out Vader and setting up the "you're all clear kid" moment.
Onto Episode V: Empire Strikes Back, and immediately Nasser seems to be getting the hang of the "exposition" crawl:
Is this the same intro?
Not being a fan of Han Solo and already predicting the "slow burn" romance of Luke and Leia, Nasser is particularly disturbed by Han's advances and might be one of the few to cheer C3-PO's antics:
Why is (Han) rubbing (Leia's) finger?
Fast forward to Yoda training Luke and Nasser again thinks he's predicting a payoff that funny enough we got only recently with Rise of Skywalker:
If (Luke) would have been able to lift (the X-Wing) it would have felt unearned ... so he's going to keep trying and eventually do it
Although Nasser knows about the "I am your father" twist, Darth Vader's cutting off Luke's hand surprises Nasser:
Ouch ... he cut his like hand off
"This was a million times better than the first one", Nasser says at the end. "Now moving forward, I know nothing" he says with the one big twist out of the way.
As Episode I: The Phantom Menace begins, Nasser seems to be catching onto what fans think of Jar Jar Binks:
He's going to get very annoying very fast
The one thing Nasser does like that is a common critique when The Phantom Menace first came out is the casting of Jake Lloyd as Anakin:
I like the kid ... the kid makes this entire film better
Halfway into the movie and Nasser is finally getting who this boy Anakin is, possibly because it's only briefly mentioned in A New Hope, and who Ewan McGregory is playing:
Is he Darth Vader? ... Oh my God it's Obi-Wan .. I just got that
George Lucas seems to be getting Nasser right in the feels as he empathizes with Anakin over having to leave his mother behind. This scene works well for Nasser as he seems visibly emotional although he can't explain or pinpoint why.
That's so upsetting ... it's really really upsetting
Interestingly, Nasser believes the prequel's production value and effects look much better than the original trilogy, not knowing the backlash it received in 1999 for using too much CGI. When Darth Maul, played by Ray Park, pulls out his double-bladed lightsaber Nasser recognizes how much more intense the prequels are with the visuals and action.
Once Qui-Gon Jinn is killed, Nasser immediately gets where all this is going predicting accurately the boy becoming Obi-Wan's Padawan, but then leading to a dark place:
You watch these prequels knowing ... that the child is going to turn into Darth Vader, yikes!
Nasser's review at the end he says is "unfair" because of the dated visual effects and action that make the original trilogy hard to keep up with more modern films. However, Jar Jar and the humor in general hasn't been working for him so far.
With just three of the nine movies in the series down, it seems Nasser is already investing in essential Star Wars paraphernalia:
Now I have a lightsaber, and it's like really cool!
Starting off Episode II: Attack of the Clones, Nasser is already sounding like an old school Star Wars fan:
Oh my God is that Jar Jar? ... Why is Jar Jar in this!
It does seem though he enjoys some of Natalie Portman's Padmé and Hayden Christensen's Anakin, maybe quick burn romance, up to a certain point:
I really can't blame (Anakin), (Padmé's) really hot.
Because when we get to Anakin and Padmé rolling in the grass, Nasser isn't having any of it:
That is not what I came here to see
What does work for Nasser is after witnessing the death of Shmi Skywalker from the torture of the Tusken Raiders it strikes a nerve with Nasser. Much like in the previous episode, Nasser is moved when it comes to scenes with Anakin and his mother. Angry and enraged, Anakin's revenge killing spree makes perfect sense as Nasser justifies him becoming the Sith Lord.
You know what, become Darth Vader, lose your shit at this point
Overall his final review of Episode II is quite good ranking it better than Episode I saying he is becoming invested in the story of Anakin and what he knows is coming. However, like many others feel, the "cheesy scenes between Anakin and the Senator (Amidala)" just don't work for him. Maybe he's counting on the "slow burn" romance of Luke and Leia to make up for it.
Nasser's next video on Revenge Of The Sith starts off with a funny observation on Count Dooku doing a flip before the lightsaber duel with Anakin and Obi-Wan:
The stairs we're right there
Nasser thinks he knows where this is going now as Anakin is told by Padmé about her being pregnant, but interestingly we are seeing the machete order do it's tricks as he has no clue about Leia:
She's pregnant, with Luke!
One thing that may remain ever present in humanity going forward are the sayings of Yoda, voiced by Frank Oz. It never fails for old or new fans and it's the one thing everyone gains from the franchise. Like when Yoda gives Anakin his famous lesson, "fear of loss is a path to the dark side ... attachment leads to jealousy the shadow of greed that is":
You know what, Yoda is speaking to me in this movie ... yikes ... those are words to live by!
Nasser deserves credit for figuring out pretty early since Episode I that Senator Palpatine is the emperor we saw briefly in Empire. So after finding out Palpatine is the Sith Lord, Mace Windu goes on the move to get him and Nasser cheers for the actor saying "get it Samuel L. Jackson!" But when Anakin turns on Mace Windu cutting his hands off essentially saving Palpatine, Nasser realizes this is probably the end of the Anakin he's known so far:
It's all gone to shit!
Nasser gets invested in the demise of Anakin as him and Obi-Wan duke it out in the lightsaber battle on Mustafar. Then when we get to Padmé's giving birth, he catches a word by surprise, "babies"? This is possibly where the magic of the machete order happens. What isn't a twist at all for those who experience Star Wars in release order, the reveal of Leia and Luke being siblings becomes a huge turning point at the end of Episode III. Nasser hears they are twins, but assumes "Luke has a twin brother" so the moment Padmé says "Leia", here's Nasser's shocking reaction:
What ... what? Stop ... stop stop stop stop stop
It's understandable given he's been predicting a "slow burn" romance between the siblings. Nasser seems so shaken up by what has just transpired that he takes a timeout to defend himself. Everyone's rethought the Empire kiss between the siblings once they've found out about this twist. But since he's been promoting their romance, he needed to clarify:
I really wanted Luke and Leia to end up together ... I just want to say that by no means am I supportive of incestuous relationships
And a minute later into his video he still is in shock and just can't stop talking about it:
I'm just a bit in shock ... but with this I didn't guess ... they kissed like twice, so I'm not weird for thinking it ... the twist came out of nowhere so I'm a bit traumatized
Given his trauma, it's not surprising that starting the Return Of The Jedi video Nasser again reiterates that he doesn't support incest and it is a big mistake.
Another interesting benefit to the machete order is brought up in an excellent point Nasser makes now having known about Anakin and Palpatine's past together, something those who watch the series in release order don't have when watching Return Of The Jedi.
I really like that now we have this entire back story to (Vader and Palpatine) ... because I watched the prequels before ... it gives a lot depth to their relationship because Palpatine trained Anakin ... that makes the experience richer for me
Likewise, when Obi-Wan's force ghost appears to Luke after Yoda's death, the scene conjures up memories of Kenobi and Anakin's relationship from the prequels rather than just being exposition:
It's also interesting seeing Obi-Wan now that we know his story with Anakin
After the sibling twist trauma, how does Nasser react to Luke telling Leia they're siblings? When Leia responds "I've always known" Nasser goes into a bit of a fit:
You've always known so you kissed him! I don't want to even let it slide, that's gross man! She was the one who kissed him, oh my God!
Closer to the climax after Luke has Darth Vader down on the ground, hacking away at him, Nasser finally recognizes George Lucas' pattern to Star Wars violence:
Wow there's a real culture for cutting off limbs in this series!
Interestingly though, one might think that having become familiar and empathetic to Anakin Nasser will expect, like Luke, that there is some good left in Darth Vader and there being a possibility of redemption. It seems this isn't the case and perhaps George Lucas really sets up even first time machete viewers with a surprise ending to come. So the moment Darth Vader redeems himself by throwing the Emperor into the Death Star reactor, Nasser is quite surprised:
Darth Vader killed Palpatine! That's a twist. I didn't see that coming.
The last treat the machete order does offer is Return Of The Jedi truly being an end to the entire Anakin arc. When Luke and Leia hold each other, as siblings with no kissing, they look off into the Endor forest and see force ghosts Yoda, Obi-Wan, and Anakin (new edition being Hayden Christensen). Surrounded by friends it is a celebration of victory and family. Unlike the release order where the viewer is left with the grim ending of Anakin turning to Darth Vader, the machete order provides a six movie series with a happy ending. This payoff works perfectly for Nasser:
That's so nice! Wow ... (applause)
Nasser continues with the sequel trilogy which we'll cover in another article. He also does his reaction videos on The Mandalorian and The Clone Wars as well as other franchises.